InuYasha the Musical
by Masta of da House
Summary: A musical written by me, Mizu Mitsuname, and Bec Squared about how InuYasha should've ended. Contains originally written songs and lyrics. It's rated T, but the language is really strong, so please keep that in mind.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Guess What?! I actually **do **own InuYasha! I'm kidding, It's property of Rumiko Takahashi… I wishI owned InuYasha.

**Scene 1**

Setting: Magical Feudal Era InuYashaLand

_(InuYasha, Miroku, Sango and Shippo are waiting for Kagome. They are very bored.)_

InuYasha: Man, where the hell is Kagome?

Miroku: She's in the future.

InuYasha: I know that. I mean why isn't she here?

Shippo: Ha ha! You miss her!

InuYasha: Shut up, I don't even like her like that, dammit! Oh, and since Kagome's not here, I can kick your ass without having to worry about her saying…

_(enter Kagome)_

Kagome: Sit boy!

_(InuYasha falls down)_

Shippo: Kagome, InuYasha was being mean to me! Oh, and he really missed you.

InuYasha: _(directed at Shippo) _I'm going to hurt you.

Kagome: Sit boy!

_(InuYasha falls down he gets up and glares at Kagome)_

**InuYasha:**

**It's hard to believe/ That one little word/ Can ruin my day/ Isn't it absurd/ You can't blame me for thinking/ She's kind of a bitch/ Whenever she says/ InuYasha sit/**

**It's hard to believe/ How much that it hurts/ When you become/ Aquainted with dirt/ Nobody can say/ That I deserve it/ When Kagome says/ InuYasha sit/**

**It's hard to believe/ That one little word/ Can ruin my day/ Isn't it absurd/ You can't blame me for thinking/ She's kind of a bitch/ Whenever she says/ InuYasha sit/**

**It's hard to believe/ As soon as I find/ I like her a bit/ She changes my mind/ You can't really expect me/ To deal with this shit/ Whenever that girl/ Says sit/ Whenever that girl says sit**

Kagome: I am not a…

InuYasha: Bitch? Yeah you are. I mean I didn't even do anything!

Kagome: Sit boy!

_(InuYasha falls down)_

Kagome: Now let's go, I sense a shard of the Shikon Jewel nearby.

_(everyone leaves except for Miroku)_

Miroku: _(directed at audience) _Hello all you lovely ladies out there in the audience tonight. Would any of you like to bear my children?

_(in the midst of this Sango walks back onstage)_

Sango: Miroku, what are you doing?

Miroku: Uhhh…so remember to turn off all cell phones during the performance. Thank you. Hey, Sango! Let's go find that Jewel shard.


	2. Chapter 2

**Scene 2**

Setting: Naraku's evilicious lair

_(Naraku is pacing the floor, contemplating how to take over the world. Kagura is sitting on a chair with her legs up on a table, trying to read. Suddenly Naraku has an idea.)_

**Naraku:**

**I've got an evil plan/ I need the Shikon Jewel/ To hold it in my hand/ And kill the god damned fool **_**…InuYasha**_**/ To take over the world/ So I can finally rule/ Because I'm evil/**

Kagura: Okay, if you're supposed to take over the world and stuff, what the hell am I supposed to do?

Naraku: You just do whatever I tell you to do.

Kagura: _(mock thoughtful) _hmm…Why don't you sing another verse and I'll tell you what I think about that.

Naraku

**I wear a monkey skin/ And don't forget the spines/ My hair is fabulous/ On death occasions I dress fine/ Feel the sting of my blade/ 'Cause it'll make me shine/ And 'cause I'm evil/**

Kagura: It isn't because you're evil, you douchebag, it's 'cause you're a fucking whore!

Naraku: You better shut up Kagura, or you'll regret it.

Kagura: Oh, really?

Naraku: I'll put it this way…Do you want to die, Kagura?

Kagura: Actually Natasha, Naruto, whatever the hell your name is, that's not a bad idea.

Naraku: No, I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to tap dance.

Kagura: Not again…

(Naraku starts to tap dance. Kagura, annoyed tries to go back to reading, but Naraku's dance is too distracting.)

**Naraku:**

**Some people say I'm just misunderstood/ That deep down inside I'm really good/ But I know that's a load of bull/ **

**I make your life a living hell/ I have a blast and I do it well/ All because I'm evil/**

(Naraku continues to tap dance. Kagura animates some corpses to tap dance along with him.

Naraku: Because I'm evil!

**Kagura:**

**I've got a million things/ That I would rather do/ Than hang around your lair/ And have to listen to you/ I want to run away/ And get the hell away from you/ 'Cause you're an asshole**

Naraku: I'm not dealing with this Kagura. Get the hell out of my lair.

Kagura: Fine. _(takes out a cell phone, which is so historically inaccurate it's not even funny) _Hey Sesshomaru, are we still on for tonight? You want to add something extra? Alright. _(closes phone) _There. I'm out of your hair for the rest of the evening.

(Kagura leaves)

Naraku: Sometimes I think she doesn't like working for me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Scene 3**

Setting: Magical Feudal Era InuYashaLand

_(Everyone just came back from that big huge fight which I was too lazy to write and is now taking a rest uh… somewhere. Kagome is using this time to study for her exams, which is what I really should be doing right now. Anyway…)_

Kagome: This is impossible. I'm going to fail math. Do any of you know what a bisector is?

Miroku: A bisector is someone who's attracted to both men and women.

Kagome: Miroku, that's bisexual.

Miroku: I'm offended by that.

(suddenly, Kagura walks onstage. InuYasha notices her.)

InuYasha: Holy shit, it's Kagura!

Kagura: (holding up her hands.) No, no. I want Naraku dead. How can I help?

Miroku: You can start by bearing my child.

Kagura: I will bear your child when you burn in the deepest pit of the seventh hell.

Sango: I like her… when she's not kicking my ass.

Miroku: Your soft and tender ass.

Sango: (pissed off) Kirara… fetch.

(Kirara chases a terrified Miroku offstage)

InuYasha: So Kagura, why the sudden change of heart?

Kagura: I hate working for Naraku! If I have to listen to another one of his 'Because I'm evil' episodes again, I am going to jump off a fucking cliff!

InuYasha: I don't trust you.

Kagura: (traumatized) He tap-danced for gods sake. Pity me…

(Kagura immediately reverts back to her old self. Her back up dancer / dead people join in with her dance in the following song)

**Kagura:**

**I hate that bastard though he's tall/ He really drives me up the wall/ With his fucking tap-dancing and all/ I can't wait to watch him fall/**

Kagome: So you want Naraku dead just as much as we do.

Kagura: Exactly.

**Kagura:**

**Any enemy of my enemy's a friend of mine/ And I can't wait to see that bastard die/ I can't wait to see his ass/ Lying face down in the grass/ Yeah, I can't wait to see that bastard die/**

**The difference between my life and the darkest pits of hell/ Is so goddamn negligible, you couldn't even tell/ And it's pretty justifiable that I'd want to rebel/ And beating the shit out of him sounds like it would go pretty well/**

**He doesn't even have a clue/ That I would betray him to you/ He thinks I'm with Sesshomaru/**

InuYasha: (confuzzeled) What?!

**Kagura:**

**Anyway… back to Naraku./**

Inuyasha: Wait what was that about Sesshomaru?

**Kagura:**

**I hate that bastard though he's tall/ He really drives me up the wall/ With his fucking tap-dancing and all/ I can't wait to watch him fall/**

**Any enemy of my enemy's a friend of mine/ And I can't wait to see that bastard die/ He's given me so much strife/ Just the look on his face will make my life/ God, I can't wait to see that bastard die/**

**I won't deny it, You know I'll laugh/ When InuYasha Windscars his sorry ass/ Just picture it. That's gonna be a blast/ That asshole got what was coming to him at last/**

**I hate that bastard though he's tall/ He really drives me up the wall/ With his fucking tap-dancing and all/ I can't wait to watch him fall/**

**I can't wait to see his ass/ Lying face down in the grass/**

**He's given me so much strife/ Just the look on his face'll make my life/**

(Kagura loses control. Still singing, she goes on a wild rant and ends up slicing down a tree)

InuYasha: Are you okay?

Kagura: Yeah, sorry, I just got sort of carried away

InuYasha: Okay…

**Kagura:**

**I can't wait to see that fucker die!**

Shippo:(hugging on to Kagome) She's scary.

(Myoga the flea enters. Of course we can't see him, because he's just a small little flea. InuYasha smacks him / smacks the side of his face.)

InuYasha: Well, look who it is, Myoga the flea.

Myoga: Master InuYasha, I…

InuYasha:Where the hell were you when we fought that last demon?

Myoga: Well, I…

InuYasha: You really suck.

Myoga: Of course, I'm a flea.

Kagura: Hello? I'm not trying to be a bitch here but don't we have to get back to the plot? You know, epic battle with Naraku and all?

Myoga: An epic battle, you say?

InuYasha: Oh yeah.

Myoga: Look over there, it's Kikyo!

Kagome: Kikyo?

Sango: Kikyo?

Kagura: Kikyo.

(everyone stares at Kagura)

Kagura: Yeah, I said it, you got a problem with that.

(everyone, being afraid of Kagura, shakes their head 'no' vigourously)

InuYasha: Oh right, like Kikyo is actually standing right behind me. You're just going to run away while I'm distracted. What do you think I am? Stupid or something? I'm not gonna fall for that old…

(Kikyo enters)

Kikyo: Hey.

InuYasha: Wait, aren't you supposed to be dead?

Kagome: Yeah, you died, didn't you?

Miroku: Nevertheless, will you…

Sango: (coughs) Necrophiliac (coughs)

InuYasha: Seriously, Miroku, is that all you think about?

Miroku: At least I know what I want.

InuYasha: What do you mean?

(Walks centerstage and clears his throat)

Miroku: (mocking tone) I'm InuYasha. I love you Kikyo! No wait, now I love Kagome. Now I love Kikyo. Now I love Kagome, Now I love Kikyo, Now I love Kagome…

InuYasha: (punches Miroku in the head) Can it!

Miroku: Owww…

Sango: Serves you right for hitting on Kikyo.

Kikyo: Speaking of me, this is my scene, isn't it?

(Kikyo takes out her bow and arrow)

InuYasha: Shit!

Kikyo: I want to compromise.

InuYasha: Compromise?

Kikyo: Yes. Give me the Shikon Jewel shards (points her arrow at Kagome) or she dies.

InuYasha: Yeah, some compromise.

Kagome: Yeah, ummm… about that…well, you see, we don't have any.

Kikyo: What?!

Kagome: Naraku took them!

Kikyo: You've got to be kidding me!

Kagome: Sorry.

Kagura: You know what. This bitch is starting to piss me off. They've got a point. Why won't you die?

**Kagura:**

**Why won't you die/ No one knows why/ Why are you alive/**

**Miroku:**

**She has a point/ Not many people die/ And then survive/**

**Kagome:**

**It would solve a lot of problems/ If you weren't around/ And you stayed buried in the ground/ And you didn't make a sound/**

**Kikyo:**

**Look it's not my fault/ I shouldn't be around/**

Kikyo: I was cremated for god's sake!

**Kikyo:**

**People just seem to like raising me from the dead/ I don't know why it's me all the time, They should try someone else instead/**

**You know I've been slashed/ And I've been burned/ And even thrown off a cliff/**

**I'm at the same place as you I don't know why/**

**Everyone:**

**Why won't you (I) die?/**

**Why won't you (I) die?/**

**Kikyo:**

**Honest to goodness I don't know why/**

**Everyone:**

**Why won't you (I) die?/**

**Kikyo:**

**Why won't I die?/**

**Kagura:**

**Why won't you die/ No one knows why/ Why are you alive/**

**Miroku:**

**She has a point/ Not many people die/ And then survive/**

**Kagome:**

**It would solve a lot of problems/ If you weren't around/ And you stayed buried in the ground/ And you didn't make a sound/**

**Everyone:**

**Why won't you (I) die?/**

**Why won't you (I) die?/**

**Why won't you (I) die?/**

**Why won't you (I) die?/**

**Kagura:**

**Why won't you just fucking die?/**

Miroku: (sarcastic) Oh sure, let's play 'How many times we can swear in one sentence?'.

InuYasha: Yeah, a swear fight. Sango, you're first!

Sango: Me, Okay. You bitch, just die dammit!

InuYasha: Godammit, you fucking bitch why won't you fucking die?

Shippo: Holy crap, you suck.

InuYasha: You lose.

Kagura: Holy fucking shit, why won't you just enter the seventh hell and goddamn leave us the hell alone, you whore, douchebag, son of a bitch jackass!

Miroku: (flabbergasted) I need to go pray now.

InuYasha: Wow. You win, Kagura.

Kagura: We were playing a game?

(everyone shrugs)

**Everyone:**

**Why won't you die?**

Kikyo: Well, I'm off to find Naraku and get those Jewel shards, because, frankly, I don't feel very wanted here.


	4. Chapter 4

**Scene 4**

Setting: Whereever Sesshomaru was hanging out at the time.

(Sesshomaru, Rin and Jaken are pretty much just there.)

**Sesshomaru:**

**I want a big sword/ I want a big, big sword/ I want a big sword/ I want InuYasha's sword/ 'Cause when I get Tetsuaiga/ They'll all go Oh my God/ He has a big, big sword/**

**My stupid half brother/ He thinks he's so hot/ He says he has a big sword/ But look at what I've got/**

(Kagura enters. With a classic WTF look on her face, she tries to think of something to say, but is speechless and slightly disturbed)

**Sesshomaru:**

**I want a big sword/ I want a big, big sword/ I want a big sword/ I want InuYasha's sword/ All the girls will sigh/ Sesshomaru's the guy/ He has a big, big sword/ **

**The fangirls think I'm sexy/ But say that I'm metro/ But when I whip my sword out/ They'll know I'm hetero/**

Rin: What's Lord Sesshomaru talking about?

Jaken: You'll know when you're older Rin.

**Sesshomaru:**

**I'm gonna get a big sword/ 'Cause that's what I deserve/**

**Kagura:**

**Your sword is actually pretty big from what I remember/**

**Sesshomaru:**

**I want a big sword/ I want a big, big sword/ I want a big sword/ I want InuYasha's sword/ It is so big and shiney/ And it should be miney/ He has a big, big sword/ And I want his big, big sword**

Kagura: Wow, that was fucking interesting.

Sesshomaru: Kagura?

Kagura: Mind telling me what all that was about?

Sesshomaru: Well I…

Rin: Lord Sesshomaru?

Sesshomaru: Mommy and daddy are talking right now, Rin. Why don't you go annoy Jaken or something?

Rin: How so?

Sesshomaru: Poke him with a stick until he screams.

Rin: Okay

(Rin runs off with a little twig and pokes Jaken)

Jaken: Rin, what are you doing?

Rin: Poking you.

Jaken: Why?

Rin: Because I'm bored, and Lord Sesshomaru said I could.

Kagura: Ah, playful squabble. I hate playful squabble. (loudly) Rin!

Rin:Yes?

Kagura: Poke him with this.

(Kagura hands Rin a spear)

Kagura: It'll make him scream louder.

(Rin is fascinated)

Jaken: What?! You gave her a spear?!

Sesshomaru: Are you blind Jaken? That is exactly what she gave her.

Rin: Look Jaken, mommy gave me a pointy stick!

(Jaken, terrified, runs away. Rin chases him offstage)

Kagura: (after Rin) I'm not your mom!

Sesshomaru: So why are you here?

Kagura: Well, we're going to kill Naraku and…

Sesshomaru: We?

Kagura: InuYasha, Sango, Miroku, you know.

Sesshomaru: Normally I'd…

(Rin appears)

Sesshomaru: What Rin?

Rin: Lord Sesshomaru, Jaken's not moving.

Kagura: Did you seriously stab him that fucking hard?

Rin: What does 'fuck' mean?

Sesshomaru: You'll know when you're older. Let's go heal Jaken.

(blackout)

(Sango and Miroku enter)

Sango: There will now be a fifteen-minute intermission.

Miroku: You can go get something to eat, like Cheetos, You can use the restroom, text someone or, if any of you girls would be so kind as to bear my child…

Sango: (pissed off) Do you want me to shove this boomerang up your ass, Miroku?

Miroku: Strangely, yes.


	5. Chapter 5

**Scene 5**

Setting: Magical Feudal Era InuYasha Land

(I'm too lazy to tell you what everyone's doing today so you can just make it up. I honestly don't care)

Kagome: Things sure have been quiet since Kagura left.

Sango: It feels so empty without her.

Kagome: It was almost like she was part of our group.

InuYasha: I'm glad she's gone, she was a crazy violent bitch.

Kagome: Sit boy!

(InuYasha falls down)

Miroku: She was hot though.

Sango: Shut up Miroku.

Miroku: Now, now Sango, don't be jealous. There's plenty of Miroku to go around.

(Sango turns bright red)

**Sango:**

**Jealous? Jealous? Now why would I be Jealous?/ If it's female with a pulse then well it's/ Good enough for you/**

**Miroku:**

**Then why are you pissed off when I flirt with other women/ And ask them to bear my children/ How does that effect you?/**

Sango: Well I don't like you, if that's what you're saying.

**Miroku:**

**Okay, I get it. You're totally in denial/ If I give you awhile/ You'll admit it at last/**

**Sango:**

**And even if I did, you'd flirt/ Why are you always a pervert/**

Miroku: I'm not a…

Sango: Miroku,

Miroku: What?

(Sango slaps him)

**Sango:**

**Get your hand of my ass/**

InuYasha: Hey Kagome, what are they singing about?

Kagome: I'm not going to explain it to you again.

InuYasha: Whatever.

**Sango:**

**You never would be true to me/Not like I want you to be/ I can't believe you're such a manwhore/**

**Miroku:**

**It's a general prediction/ That you see in all fanfiction/ You and me could be so much more**

Sango: Really?

Miroku: Yes Sango.

Sango: I have a cofession to make.

Miroku: What?

Sango: I like you.

Miroku: Me too. We should go out.

Sango: Okay, but you've got to stop flirting with other girls.

Miroku: I won't make any promises.

(Sango slaps him)

Miroku: Ow.

Kagome: So, anyway, InuYasha, would you help me study for biology?

InuYasha: You seem to forget that in this time, half the crap you know hasn't even been invented yet and we still think the world is flat.

Kagome: Well I have bio cards… the answers are on the back.

InuYasha: Yeah, Okay. What are we studying?

Kagome: The reproductive system.

Miroku: Hey Sango…

Sango: No.

Miroku: Dammit.

(puts his hands over his mouth because he swore and monks aren't supposed to do that)

InuYasha: Anyway…

(suddenly, Koga appears out of nowhere)

Koga: Kagome, I can help you study the reproductive system better than that mutt.

Kagome: Nice to see you too, Koga.

InuYasha: Hey, get your hands off her, wretched wolf!

Koga: In your dreams, insolent pup.

InuYasha: Take that back.

Koga: Never, half-breed…Yeah, I went there.

(InuYasha punches him in the face and knocks him out)

Kagome: Oh my gosh, he'll need CPR.

InuYasha: Just leave him, he's not part of the main plot anyway.

Kagome: (monotone) Help. Call EMS.

(Kagura enters)

Kagura: What the fuck is EMS?

InuYasha: As I said earlier, it hasn't been discovered yet.

Sango: Oh my god, Kagura, you're back!

(hugs her)

Kagura: Get the fuck off me. Now.

(Kagura notices Koga)

Kagura: Who the hell are you?

InuYasha: Some stupid wolf who won't get his paws off Kagome, even though she obviously doesn't like him.

Kagome:Sit boy!

Kagura: (understanding) Oh, so basically, you're the anime Jacob Black?

Koga: The what?

Sango: Oh my god, it's Sesshomaru

(everybody looks in the direction of Sesshomaru as he enters)

InuYasha: Huh…(noticing Sesshomaru he hugs his Tetsuaiga) My sword!

Sesshomaru: Actually, InuYasha, I'm not here to…

InuYasha: My sword!

Kagura: Don't worry, he's actually here to help.

Everyone: What?!

Sesshomaru: Yes… I want Naraku dead too. Plus Kagura's my… (Kagura puts her hand over his mouth)

Kagura: Heh…heh…heh…I'm sorry. You know about my OCD of putting my hand over people's mouths at random intervals.

InuYasha: You never did that to me.

Kagura: I didn't want your nasty dog slime on my hand.


	6. Chapter 6

**Scene 6**

Setting: Naraku's evilicious lair

(Naraku is talking to Kanna and her magic mirror.)

Naraku: Mirror, mirror in Kanna's hands, Who's the evilest in the land? (pauses, then is shocked by what he sees) Voldemort! Hell no!

(Kanna stares at him blankly)

Naraku: C'mon, Kanna, who's the next evilest? (same thing) What? Ganondorf?!

(Kanna stares at him blankly)

Naraku: (confuzzeled) This can't be right. Who's next evilest.

Kanna: (emotionless) It's Orochimaru and then it's Bowser. Now let me just say this: whoever gets his ass kicked by a plumber is a pussy.

(Kanna leaves. Naraku is very sad)

**Naraku:**

**I have an evil plan/ I need the Shikon Jewel/ To hold it in my hand/ And kill the goddamn fool/ But now I've realized/ I'm really not that cool/ Because I'm evil**

Naraku: I wish Kagura was around her tap-dancing corpses really add to the song. I wonder what she's doing.


	7. Chapter 7

**Scene 7**

Setting: Hell if I know

(Sesshomaru and Kagura are discussing how to approach the killing of Naraku. If you haven't figured out by now, they're dating, so how concentrated they are on Naraku is up to you.)

Sesshomaru: So Kagura, what you said before about working with my brother…

Kagura: I figured we'd need a distraction.

Sesshomaru: I nominate Jaken.

Kagura: Perfect. Sesshomaru, you are so…

(Rin enters)

Kagura: Hi Rin, what do you want?

Rin: Jaken broke my large, pointy stick

Kagura: Here's a new one.

Rin: Yay! Thank you!

**Rin:**

**I got a stick/ I got a big, pointy stick/ I got a stick/ Look at my pointy stick/ **

(Rin exits, singing. Kagura watches her as she leaves. When Kagura turns back to face Sesshomaru, he's really close to her.)

Kagura: Why are you so fucking close?

Sesshomaru: So I can do this… (leans in to kiss her)

(InuYasha comes out of nowhere)

InuYasha: (shocked) What the fuck?!

(Kagura and Sesshomaru pull apart)

Sesshomaru: InuYasha?

Kagura: Fuck.

InuYasha: What the hell are you guys doing?

Sesshomaru: Well…

Kagura: We were just… (shoves a Twix bar into her mouth and tells InuYasha everything. He can't understand her at all…on account of there being a Twix bar in her mouth)

InuYasha: What?

Kagura: You heard me the first time, you dumbass, I'm not going to fucking tell you again.

(Rin enters)

Sesshomaru: What now, Rin?

Rin: Jaken broke my pointy stick againnnnnn…(Rin starts to cry)

Sesshomaru: Shit!

(Sesshomaru calms Rin down and gets her to stop crying)

Kagura: Here Rin. (hands Rin a knife) It's called a dagger.

Rin: It's shiney!

Kagura: And it won't break as easy.

Sesshomaru: Go stab InuYasha.

Rin: Okay, Lord Sesshomaru!

(Rin stabs InuYasha in the leg.)

InuYasha: Ow!

(Kagome enters, sees InuYasha being stabbed and stops Rin.)

Kagome: Rin, what are you doing?

Rin: (innocently) Poking InuYasha.

Kagome: Why?

Rin: Lord Sesshomaru told me to.

Kagome: If you want to annoy someone, go give Jaken a peck on the cheek.

Rin: Huh?

Kagome: Kiss him!

Rin: Why would I want to do that?

Kagome: To make him writhe in pain.

(Rin runs over to Jaken and gives him a kiss on the cheek, making him writhe in pain)

Jaken: Make it stop…

Rin: Tee hee…this is fun!

Kagura: (impressed) Wow, you're becoming devious and evil. We should hang out more.

Kagome: Yeah we should. How about you help me study for Biology?

Kagura: Why don't you ask your boyfriend?

Kagome: Boyfriend? What do you mean? InuYasha and I aren't like that! We're just good friends, we're not dating or anything like that!

(Kagura stares at her)

Kagome: Fine, you dragged it out of me. I'm madly in love with him! Are you happy now?

Kagura: Wait, you like him?

Kagome: What?

Kagura: I just guessed.

Sesshomaru: (disgusted) You're in love with InuYasha?

Kagome: Why should I bother keeping my feelings for him inside any longer. I love InuYasha, I always have.

InuYasha: Really?

Kagome: With all my heart.

(they gaze into each other's eyes longingly as dramatic music builds up)

**InuYasha:**

**Kagome, I have to tell you how I've always felt/ You've always been the one I love. Kikyo can burn in hell/**

**Kagome: **

**When I look into your eyes everything feels right/ So say that you'll be waiting for me; say you'll hold me tight/**

**Both:**

**All these feelings that I've kept inside/ Come to life when I look into your eyes/ Looking at you I know that I can no longer hide/**

**Kagura:**

**C'mon get a fucking room you guys/**

**InuYasha and Kagome:**

**Sorry that I never said these words before/ And now, standing here I finally see/ Every day I've known you I've grown to love you more and more/ You and I were always meant to be…**

Sesshomaru: I think I'm going to puke.

(Sesshomaru leaves.)

Kagura: Way to kill the mood, InuYasha.

InuYasha: Speak for yourself.

(InuYasha and Kagome leave)

(Miroku enters)

Kagura: (mumbling to herself)…stupid fucking Inuyasha...fucking asshole…fucking ruin the fucking moment (to Miroku) Yeah I'm talking to myself, so what?!

Miroku: Nothing. It's just (puts his arm around her) Sango's at a giant boomerang convention right now, so we could…

Kagura: Are you always such a pervert?

Miroku: I was going to say 'think of a plan to kill Naraku'.

Kagura: Oh my God, the monk has a brain! Don't worry; I have the whole plan figured out. I'll go back, (twitch) plead for (twitch) servitude (twitch) or something. Jaken distracts Naraku and we attack him from behind.

Miroku:Well, I had a plan too. (pulls a big whiteboard with plans for a 'mousetrap' contraption type trap he had planned for Naraku.) He picks up a sub sandwich, which triggers…

Kagura: Shut the fuck up! ( puts her hand over his mouth. Pulls it away.) Ew! Monk slime! Where's the hell water? I've got to burn this off!


	8. Chapter 8

**Scene 8**

Setting: Magical Feudal Era InuYashaLand

(Everyone is getting ready to go fight Naraku.)

Kagome: I can't believe we're finally going to defeat Naraku.

Rin: Lord Sesshomaru, can I go too?

Sesshomaru: No.

Kagome: You can't just leave her here alone. What if a demon comes? What's she going to do, poke it with her stick?

Sesshomaru: Alright, Rin can come.

Rin: Yay!

Kagome: InuYasha, I just want to wish you good luck on fighting Naraku.

InuYasha: Thanks, Kagome. Is everybody ready?

Everyone: Yes

InuYasha: Then let's go kick Naraku's…

Rin: Are we there yet?

Kagome: Here, Rin. This is a Gameboy. Entertain yourself.

InuYasha: C'mon let's shut up and go already.

Kagura: I second that! I can't wait to see that bastard Naraku get what he deserves!


	9. Chapter 9

**Scene 9**

Setting: Naraku's evilicious lair

(They are not yet in the evilicious lair, but we're using the same set. Rin is happily playing her Gameboy,as they all go over Kagura's plan.)

Kagome: Rin, you stay here, okay.

Rin: Okay, where's Jaken?

Kagome: He's being the distraction.

Rin: Will he be all right?

Sesshomaru: I don't know. (shrugs) but sacrifices must be made in order to defeat Naraku.

Kagura: That's my Sesshomaru!

(they enter Naraku's evilicious lair and wait in hiding behind a very small rock)

Naraku: What is taking Kagura so long? Sesshomaru can't be that good…

(Kagura slips out from behind the very small rock and approaches Naraku)

Kagura: Sorry I took so long, please don't kill me or crush my heart or whatever.

Naraku: So we're cool now, right.

Kagura: Sure

Naraku: And you'll do whatever I say?

Kagura: Yeah.

Naraku: And I'm not a douchebag?

Kagura: Oh no. You'll always be a giant bag of douche. Just face it, you're a fucking asshole. But I do promise to do whatever you tell me to.

Naraku: Promise?

Kagura: I don't have a fucking choice!

Naraku: Oh yeah…

InuYasha: Can't we just run in and attack him.

Kagome: No.

InuYasha: But I want to kill Naraku now!

Sesshomaru: And I want your sword but you don't see me complaining.

Kagome: Actually, you complain about not getting that sword pretty much every single time we see you, so I wouldn't be talking.

Sesshomaru: Shut up, I have prettier hair than you.

Naraku: So Kagura, You want to here about my new evil plan?

Kagura: No.

Naraku: Good, 'cause I'm gonna tell you…

(suddenly Jaken comes in, dancing to the Hamster Dance, Naraku is successfully distracted. As he is distracted, InuYasha jumps out from behind the very small rock and attacks Naraku. There is a big battle between the two.)

Kagome: (fishes around in her backpack) Ah! Here it is! (pulls out an M16 and shoots Naraku dead)

(everyone stares at Kagome)

InuYasha: What the hell just happened?

Sango: Kagome…What is that?

Kagome: This… (brandishes M16) is an M16.

InuYasha: Clarify.

Kagome: It's a gun.

Miroku: It kills people?

Shippo: Duh, monk, look at Naraku.

Kagura: This came from your time?

Kagome: Yeah, but it was pretty hard to get. I'm not allowed to legally discuss it…

Kagura: (to Sesshomaru) We should go to the future.

Sesshomaru: Why?

(Kagura points to M16)

Myoga: I'd advise against that, Kagome.

InuYasha: Where've you been?

Myoga: ummmmmmm….

**Myoga:**

**I'm sorry I ran away/ I really did believe in you/ I'm sorry I ran away/ I knew you guys would make it through/**

**I wasn't really afraid/ I was just getting coffee/**

InuYasha: Shut up (squishes Myoga)

**Myoga:**

**Such is the life of a flea**

Miroku: I don't see Kikyo.

Kagome: You're right…

Kagura: …for once.

Kagome: Where is she?

Sango: Who cares?

InuYasha and Miroku: I do!

(Sango slaps Miroku and Kagome tells InuYasha to sit at the same time. InuYasha falls down)

InuYasha and Miroku: Owww…

Shippo: Now that Naraku's dead, what do we do now?

Miroku: Sango, remember in episode 134 or something, you said you'd bear my children when this adventure was done with, will you?

Kagura: (disgusted) What the fuck, Sango, were you drunk? If you really said that… I don't know you anymore.

InuYasha: Kagome… Will you…

Miroku: Bear his children?

Kagome: Yes (near tears)

Kagura: 'Bout fucking time.

Sesshomaru: Kagura.

Kagura: What?

Sesshomaru: Will you…

Miroku: Bear his children?

(Sesshomaru gives Miroku a death glare)

Miroku: What? That's what you were asking, right?

InuYasha: What?!

Kagura: Damn. Well, he was bound to find out eventually. Yeah, sure, Sesshomaru.

Rin: Yay! I have a mommy!

Jaken: Lord Sesshomaru, do I have to listen to her too?

Sesshomaru: Yes.

Jaken: I hate my life.

**Fin.**

P.S. If anyone has any suggestions for a finale song, they will be eagerly accepted and you will receive recognition.

Thanks to Becca Geoppinger and Becky Bradley AKA Bec Squared, additional thanks to Nick Sypniewski, Megan Geoppinger and Louisa Gonzalez, who also had input.


End file.
